I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
