i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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