help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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