Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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