Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
