Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
