Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
