do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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