No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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