loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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