Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
