he puts the penis in happiness.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Blood and glitter go together right?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
