Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
