i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
