Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
