went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
