Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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