There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
