8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
