my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize