i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
