can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
