The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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