i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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