sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
