Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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