we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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