If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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