The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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