The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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