I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I love you.
Bad choice
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
