New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
