I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
