I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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