i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
