Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
How naked do you want me to be?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize