She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
