thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
vagina is talking i cant
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
