is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
True strength comes from lack of pants
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
