census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i dont even know how to be here
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You made out with two different species that night
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
