If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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