69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
