The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
