I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Randomize
