i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Oh god it's open bar.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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