Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
