And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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