Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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