I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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