And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
