Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
