Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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