we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
