Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
