i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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