there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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