Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
