trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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