Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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