I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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