every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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